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  • Writer's pictureLester Dela Cruz

The Paradox of Being

I'm on a mission to outrun my own brain, which, trust me, is a lot harder than it sounds. You see, I’ve been living life predominantly filtered through my consciousness, thinking this will make the world predictable. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.


I used to believe I could mold the world to my liking. Oh, how naive! I've come to terms with reality, folks—it's like trying to teach a cat to fetch. Sure, it might happen once, but don’t count on it.


Recently, instead of trying to change the world, I scheme and strategize to reduce uncertainty. I'm like a rebellious fighter who's been pinned down, trying to sneak in a quick sucker punch to preserve my ego. But guess what? That strategy is just as futile as my earlier ones. It’s like playing chess against a mirror—you know all the moves, but you still lose.


As I get older, I'm learning that all this strategizing about how to be just pulls me away from actually being. By overthinking, I idealize myself into this perfect, risk-free version, which, let's be honest, doesn’t exist. I’m basically trying to follow a script, predicting all the pitfalls. It’s like trying to write a novel where you already know the ending—it’s boring and, well, a bit arrogant.


Here’s the paradox: We use our amazing brains to iron out reality into our vision, but by doing so, we flatten it. We simplify and narrow our own possibilities. It’s like we’re trying to turn life into a PowerPoint presentation—predictable and dull. We just hope that the limited possibilities we settle for are the ones our future selves will appreciate. And then we rinse and repeat... until we die.


So, folks, the big takeaway? At least at this moment in my life. There’s no escape. But hey, at least we can laugh about it together!

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